My Kind Of Beau, etc.

Shameless, Fearless and Fun Female Confessions

2010-02-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

We have our own secrets and we seldom tell anyone about it. Read on and know what are the secrets we have been keeping. We promise that they are sexy, shameless, fearless and definitely fun.

Playback Payback

"I had been seeing this guy for a while when we decided to make our relationship exclusive. I thought it was going well until I found out that he was seeing someone else on the side. Soon after, a mutual friend told me he wasn't having an affair with just one woman; he was fooling around with three! I called him to break up, but when I got his voice mail, I thought of a much better idea. He had given me his password, so I logged in to his voice mail and recorded a new outgoing message. I explained what a jerk and a cheater he was. And then, to add fuel to the fire, I changed his password so he couldn't rerecord the message." —Stephanie, 24

Backstabbing Bud

"My friend has a reputation for being a flirt. I never believed the rumors until she came to visit me and my live-in boyfriend. After she left, my guy told that's he'd come on to him a few times. He didn't think much of it, but one night, when I was working, she apparently tried to get him to meet her at a hotel! I wanted everyone to know what a bitch she was, so I set up a MySpace account in her name, and under 'About Me' I wrote 'I'm a lying man stealer. Friends' boyfriends are NOT off-limits.' Then I sent out 200 'add friend' requests to buddies and random people in her town." —Shaniqua, 31

Desperate Housemate

"My roommate can be really mean, and one day, her bad attitude got on my last nerve. So when a guy she had been lusting over — who had recently become single — stopped by, I hatched a plan to get even. She let him in, then went upstairs to primp. I decided to introduce myself and told him to be careful because my roomie had a revolving door to her bedroom and is on quite a few meds for STDs. That was the last time he came over, and she couldn't figure out what happened." —Jojo, 22

Mum's the Word

"My best friend and I are very competitive with each other, especially when it comes to guys. One night, we went out, and she wore a revealing outfit. The men sitting next to us were ogling her and not paying any attention to me. When she went to the bathroom, I turned to the guys and told them that she dressed like that because pretty soon, her pregnancy would start to show, and her body would never be the same. They ignored her for the rest of the evening, and she couldn't figure out why." —Lori, 30

Iced Out

"Every month on our anniversary, my guy had this tradition of giving me jewelry. We'd been together for almost a year, so I had a tons of necklaces, earrings, and bracelets. Right before our one-year anniversary, I found out that he was cheating on me with a girl from his college. I was pissed, but I kept quiet until he gave me a diamond pendant. The next day, I sold all the jewelry to a pawnshop for a lot of cash — enough to buy an entire new wardrobe — and told him I hoped his new girlfriend was worth every penny." —Olivia, 22

Three's a Crowd

"My friend Maria had been out on a few dates with this guy, Matt, whom we both went to school with. I knew she really liked him, but it didn't stop me from having a huge crush on him too. One night, I called Maria to see what she was doing. When she said she was about to call Matt and ask him to dinner, I got really jealous. I told her I was going to stay in and watch TV, but the second I hung up, I dialed Matt's number and invited him over. When he got to my place, we ordered food and snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie. An hour or so later, Maria showed up at my door and explained that since Matt had other plans, she thought she'd come over and hang out. I told her I was about to go to bed, but when she looked past me and saw Matt on the couch, I was totally busted." -Alex, 21

Caught Red-Handed
"One night, I was home cleaning my apartment when I noticed that the people in the building next to mine were having sex against the window. I couldn't see their faces, but I could see that the guy was decked out in really lacy lingerie. I figured that he just must have a weird fetish or something, but it was still pretty hilarious to watch. Later that week, I had to pick up a friend who lived in the couple's building. As we were leaving her place, I started to tell her about what I'd seen. She was laughing at first, but when I mentioned the fact that he'd been wearing lingerie, she started to turn red. I started rambling about what a freak he must be and that I couldn't imagine having to put up with a guy like that. She shot me a look that made me think I might have offended her, so I asked her if she knew the couple. She said no, but the expression on her face made it clear that the panty-wearing guy was her boyfriend Brett." -Mara, 33

Bye-Bye Bling
"My boyfriend and I had been together for five years, but he always changed the subject when I brought up marriage. One night, I broke down and told him that I thought we should either get married or split up, but he didn't respond well to the ultimatum. A month or so later, we were having dinner at my favorite waterfront restaurant when we got into a huge argument. I started crying, so I grabbed his jacket and ran outside. I was standing on the dock outside wearing his jacket when he came out and asked me to give it to him. I said no, but then he reached out and started to take it off of me. For some reason, I got really pissed off and threw it as far as I could into the water. He started freaking out, and when I finally got him to calm down, he told me there'd been an engagement ring in the pocket." -Alexis, 34

Supermarket Smackdown
"One morning, I saw my fiancé's ex at the grocery store. The floors must have been waxed recently because as soon as I turned around to avoid her, I twisted my ankle. She ran over and offered to drive me to the hospital. When my fiancé showed up at the ER an hour later, he almost passed out at the sight of the two of us sitting side by side." -Kylie, 25

Mr. Wrong Whammy
"My friend Jess set me up on a blind date with her friend Mike. It was so awful that halfway through our meal, I told him I was going to the bathroom, but I made a beeline for the front door. On my way out, someone grabbed my elbow and said 'Amy?' The guy introduced himself as Mike and explained that Jess had shown him my picture. I was confused at first, but then I realized I had just spent half an hour with the wrong guy who happened to be named Mike and was skeevy enough to have played along." -Amy, 33

Seven-Month Send-Off
"I overheard my live-in boyfriend, Tom, telling his brother that I was just a 'starter girlfriend' and our relationship would be good practice for when he's ready to get serious with someone. On our seven-month anniversary a few nights later, I invited Tom's brother and his fiancée over for dinner. After we ate, I gave Tom three big, wrapped boxes. When he opened them, he found a mini sports car in the first one and a plastic dollhouse in the second. From the third, he pulled out a note that read 'Before tonight, you just had a starter girlfriend. But now that you have a starter car and a starter house, it looks like it's time to start the real thing...without me. You have one week to get out.'" -Olivia, 29

Hungry, Hungry Hussy
"After hanging out at a bar, I stumbled back to my dorm. I was so hungry that I decided to order a large pizza all for myself. Right after I got off the phone with the pizza place, Geoff, the guy I occasionally hooked up with, knocked on my door. I let him in, but all I could think about was the pizza and how embarrassing it would be if he knew that I'd ordered an entire pie. When the delivery guy showed up a half-hour later, I pretended that I hadn't ordered anything and tried to look shocked. After he'd gone, Geoff said, 'Just so you know, I was standing outside your door when you ordered.'" -Gia, 20

An Orgasm a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

2009-07-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

Here in the Philippines, sex among minors is frowned upon. In fact, the topic is so taboo in national discourse that even our own government doesn’t speak up enough about safe sex and birth control!

In the UK, however, health officials actually promote to teens the pleasures of sex, despite their country having the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Europe.

The Sheffield branch of Britain’s National Health Service has begun making the rounds in schools to distribute leaflets that talk about the joys of sex and masturbation. As Times Online reports, the leaflet, called “Pleasure,” informs the youth that they have every right to enjoy a randy sex life.

In fact, the leaflet also lauds the benefits regular sex has on one’s cardiovascular health! It bears the cheeky pro-sex slogan, “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.”

The advocates of “Pleasure” defend their bold stance by saying that experts have been focusing too much and too long on the need for safe sex without acknowledging the main reason why people actually engage in sex, which is pleasure. They say that by educating teens on the intricate wonders of sex, they may even encourage youngsters to put their sex lives on hold until they are finally ready to take that pleasurable plunge.

Source: Cosmopolitan

Drink Milk for Stronger Bones

2009-07-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

Our bones starts to break down by the age of 25. We are held back from living life to the fullest if we don't have healthy bones! So here are three simple tips for you to keep your bones healthy.

1. Have a diet high in calcium and Vitamin D! You need calcium to help build strong bones, and you need Vitamin D for the calcium to be absorbed in your body. An easy way to do this is to drink two glasses of milk everyday. 2 glasses give you 100% of the calcium and Vitamin D that you need for the day, so that you can fight osteoporosis.

2. Be physically active everyday. Physical activity contributes to bone health, and improves balance, muscle strength, and coordination. Adults need at least 30 minutes a day of exercise to be fit and healthy.

3. Live a healthy lifestyle. Avoid smoking and limit your alcohol intake because these habits reduce your bone mass, and increase your risk of getting fractured or broken bones.

Earth Day Tips

2009-04-25T07:39:00.000-07:00

Do you go green only once a year—just on Earth Day , for instance?

Well, here's another reason to be environmentally conscious every day: while you're doing the planet a favor, you also save a lot of money. Consider these green habits from TheDailyGreen.com and see the difference in your expenses a month after you’ve tried them.

1. Invest in rechargeable batteries. Buying them may feel like a pinch at first, but in the long run, you spend more when you buy disposable batteries every time your gadgets run out of power. So much energy is wasted on producing disposable batteries that only end up in trash. Consider TheDailyGreen.com's picture of 15 billion batteries discarded every year: they're enough to reach the moon and back!

2. Buy an LCD monitor. According to AllPCtips.com, CRT (Cathode Ray Tube) monitors use up to 100 to 250 watts, depending on their size. LCD monitors consume only 40 watts, translating to a lower electricity bill.

3. Configure your computer's power settings. TheDailyGreen.com lets us in on another secret: you can save energy even if your PC is on the whole day if you tinker with Windows' power management settings. Go to the Control Panel, select Performance and Maintenance, and click Power Options. This function enables your computer to turn off the monitor when idle for a few minutes. You won’t have to worry about wasting energy in case you stretch your lunch hour.

4. Re-use scratch paper. A ream of bond paper costs about P150. You can maximize that when you print or write on both sides of each sheet.

5. Grow an herb garden. Not only do these plants generate oxygen, they also slash your grocery bill.

6. Bring your own tumbler or mug to Starbucks today. Starbucks will slash P40 off your bill if you ask the barista to serve coffee in your own mug. Ask for a teaspoon, too, so you won’t have to use a plastic stirrer for your drink.

I'm a Starbucks customer and it is good to know that i can save P40 for every coffee purchase I make. I'm glad that such a company thought of helping save the environment.

Sexy Plans to Make With Him

2009-01-22T04:43:00.000-08:00

Start mapping out these ridiculously fun adventures with your guy. We tell you everything you need to do to pull them off.

Bahay-Bahayan Weekend
Time frame: Overnight to two nights

Make reservations at a serviced suite room. Do some weekend grocery-shopping, prepare your overnight bag, and make sure to pack in your sexy lingerie. You’re in for a weeked of lovin’.

Lock yourselves in and enjoy each other’s company. And for at least one particular meal during your weekend escape, forego calling in for delivery and instead, prep a recipe you both want to try. Whether you’re craving for juicy steaks or eager to try a pesto pasta, come prepared with your gourmet ingredients. Transform preparing your meal into a joint adventure and get crazy in the kitchen. After your hearty meal, spend time just chatting, watching your favorite DVD, or practicing Cosmo’s Love and Lust moves.

Alfresco Dates
Time frame: One night a week

When weather permits, agree to eat only at places that offer outdoor seating. A lot of restos now have alfresco dining options. Garden and ambient tables fill up fast, so make a reservation. Pretend you’re in some foreign locale and take in the sights and sounds while people-watching together. For an add-on twist: Try date nights on Wednesdays to break up the Monday to Friday grind.

How to Get a Guy to Take the Lead

2009-01-22T04:42:00.000-08:00

You may be used to calling the shots, but when your man is robbed of opportunities to take charge, the equilibrium in the relationship is thrown off. Get it back without compromising your power.

Get Him to Take the Lead in… Pursuing You

“Early on in dating, women worry that a guy will lose interest, and they try to fill the gaps to get reassurance,” says Cleveland clinical psychologist Joseph Rock, PsyD. But you can train yourself to cope with more distance. Nix the daily “just saying hi” e-mails and calls…or unplanned drop-ins. Don’t nudge for future dates (“See you on Friday?”). He’ll realize that the only way to ensure he’ll see you is by mapping it out himself.

Get Him to Take the Lead in… Social Planning

Sure, it may feel like second nature to assume the role of social-activity coordinator. “But that doesn’t leave him any room to plan fun outings or to be spontaneous,” says Arlington, Texas, psychologist Joyce Buckner, PhD. The fix: Give him license to select a vacation destination or Saturday night event. Should his idea not match up with what you would’ve picked, suck it up! Over time, you can begin to shape his suggestions.

Get Him to Take the Lead in… Bed

He may not take charge for fear you won’t like deviating from your way. “If you want him to switch things up, set the scene for creativity or change so it’s appealing for him to go out on a limb,” says Rock. Ask what his naughty fantasies are, and say you’d be open to acting one out. Hint that you’re game for an out-of-bedroom experience, too. Give broad, sexy feedback, such as “I love these hot surprises—keep ’em coming!”

Be protected from cervical cancer for less

2008-12-31T18:27:00.000-08:00

Here's some good health news to start the holidays: GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) has made its cervical cancer vaccine more affordable and accessible to Filipinas who want protection from the disease.

In their efforts to protect more women from cervical cancer, GSK cut the price for their vaccine to 60 per cent its original price. "When we said that every woman deserves a chance against cervical cancer, we meant it. GSK Philippines is proud to achieve this important milestone of being the first country to make our cervical cancer vaccine affordable to more women," said GSK president and managing director Rick Gain.

Before the price cut, cervical cancer vaccine cost P4,000 to P6,500 per shot. Doctors recommend that females age 10 and up get the shot three times in six months.

Cervical cancer is the second most common cancer afflicting women worldwide, with 500,000 cases and 250,000 deaths occurring every year. Over 80 per cent of cases occur in developing countries such as the Philippines, where the disease is ranked as second most common cancer risk for Filipino women. However, the disease is preventable through vaccination and can be treated if diagnosed early.

Clinical data also showed that GSK's cervical cancer vaccine provides protection for nearly six and a half years, reportedly the longest duration of protection for a cervical cancer vaccine to date.

What does your blood type say about your personality?

2008-12-31T18:17:00.000-08:00

If you are into Japanese animation or celebrities, you'd notice that character profiles include blood type details. In Japan, blood types mean more than compatibility for blood donations, as most Japanese still believe in blood typology or the idea that blood type defines a person's personality, temperament, and ability to mingle.
bloodtest.jpg

Scientists have rejected blood typology in recent years, but four books on the subject still dominate Japan's top 10 bestsellers this year. According to the report from the Guardian, Instruction Manual for People with Type B Blood and its follow-up titles sold five million copies in Japan, mostly to women in their 20s and 30s.

In Japan, asking for blood types is similar to asking a person about his astrological sign, as blood types also have their own horoscopes. While blood typology naturally comes to mind in dating, some companies are also known to hire people based on their blood type.

Research by the Guardian showed A types are sensitive and perfectionists, while free-thinking Bs are more cheerful and flamboyant. O types tend to be more decisive, curious, and confident, while artistic AB types are more distant.

Does this blood type classification match your personality? Do you believe the link between personality and blood type?

Beyoncé | If I Were A Boy

2008-12-24T13:08:00.000-08:00

If I Were A Boy lyrics

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think
that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy…

If I Were A Boy
( Official Music Video ) HQ - Beyonce

Jason Mraz | I'm Yours

2008-12-24T12:44:00.000-08:00

Jason Mraz
I'm Yours lyrics

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out, I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate, our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do
But do you want to come on
Scooch on over closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Come on and open up your mind and see like me
(I won't hesitate)
Open up your plans and damn you're free
(No more, no more)
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
(It cannot wait, I'm sure)

So please don't, there's no need
(There's no need to complicate)
There's no need to complicate
(Our time is short)
'Cause our time is short
(This is our fate)
This is, this is, this is our fate
I'm yours

Oh, I'm yours
Oh, I'm yours
Oh, whoa, baby you believe I'm yours
You best believe, best believe I'm yours

The most expensive gift

2008-12-17T06:59:00.001-08:00

When I was younger, I used to cook up big surprises for my partner. I know a lot of other people do this too. Romantic couples usually rack their brains for fancy ideas to astound their partner: be it through an expensive gift or a romantic getaway. It would indeed melt your partner’s heart, but remember that all these extravagant things are meaningless if real love is displaced.

Now that the price of gas is consistently increasing and consequently affecting the price of everything else, it might be the right time to cut costs and focus on the basics.

It does not cost you anything to listen earnestly to your partner. When was the last time you really listened and understood what he is saying? Life flies by too fast, everybody is busy making money, and communication becomes impersonal. Yet I hope people still get to talk and reach the depth of their partner’s inner self and soul.

Tomorrow, try asking him, “How’s your heart honey?” When he talks, listen to his heart, listen to his words, and most of all, listen to those unsaid words. If he is hurt, comfort him. If he is happy, acknowledge this and share his happiness. If he appreciates you, appreciate him back. These gestures do not cost anything, but they are very meaningful.

It does not cost anything to say “Thank you,” either. Saying these words should not come out of habit, but as a form of sincere appreciation. You should be grateful for having a partner that loves you in spite of your imperfections. You should be thankful you are with the person you truly love. Say “Thank you” for dinner, mind-blowing sex, warmth, refuge he provides when you’re down, and security he gives when you’re lost. Say “Thank you” because real love is appreciative.

It will not cost you to say “I love you.” They say “actions speak louder than words,” but actions can never replace words. Your actions need affirmation. And when you say “I love you,” mean it. These words should mean that you love your partner for what he is, and most of all, that you love your honey for what he is not. The phrase means accepting each other’s weaknesses and growing together as you both progress in life. Saying “I love you” means “your highest good is above mine.” Loving in the real sense does not cost anything.

There are so many things in life left unnoticed. It is really sad that people sometimes forget the basics. We should learn to savor and appreciate what we have, and not rant about things we cannot get. We should never stop being good to people, especially to our loved ones. Love is not like money that should be budgeted. Love should be abundantly given, spent, shown, and consummated. When it comes to love, we should be big spenders.

Pesos, dollars, or pounds—these are worthless without love. The priceless gift will always be when you give yourself to love without losing your being.

How long does it take to move on?

2008-12-17T06:52:00.001-08:00

It may have been a long-term relationship that you had to get out of. It might have been an excruciating break up. Yet these women attest that how quickly you recover lies in your hands—or, at least in the loving hands of a hot new male distraction.

Having a new male distraction

For 24-year-old Lena, having a new male distraction makes it easier to bounce back. “Based on my last relationships, it’s safe to say it takes me roughly three to four months to recover, if I already have someone else to shower with attention right away,” she reveals.

Amber, 26, says, “It helps to have that one guy friend who’s there to be your date whenever you need one,” says Amber. “Friends with benefits could be helpful, too, to restore that shattered self-confidence and make you feel desirable and wanted again. It is not advisable for emotional recovery, however, because nothing serious ever comes out of it.”

Vicki, 23, also gives a note of caution on channeling one’s affections too quickly to the next guy. “When I broke up with my first boyfriend, I started dating immediately, thinking that a new guy would do the trick. So I found a ‘rebound skank’ in the person of BF Number 2. But even if we tried, it just wouldn’t work so I broke it off eventually. And it wasn’t friendly.”

It comes from within

Moving on takes a lot of your own strength and willpower—more than external factors which are beyond your control. How long it takes you to recover depends largely on how long you allow yourself to remain in the “getting over” stage.

Imparts Nique, 30, who is very much single and proudly enjoying it, “It took me a year to a year-and-a-half to recover, but I realized that if you don’t help yourself, it will be more difficult to get out of that rut. I had to move on from the denial stage; acceptance was the key.” To Nique, it really was a decision she had to make. “I guess one day I just woke up and realized I’m not in love with him anymore. There was no closure but I decided to move on,” she says.

‘Moving on takes a lot of your own strength and willpower—more than external factors which are beyond your control’

In the case of Amber, it usually takes her an average of a month to recover, during which she realizes that “I was actually just wallowing in self-pity. I would then get fed up with feeling guilty over breaking up with him and decide to enjoy my life as I envisioned it,” she says. She is now going steady with the man she declares is “the love of her life.”

In the article “Getting Over a Relationship Break Up,” the author cited a finding by a University of California neuroscientist which states that the feeling of rejection during a breakup registers on the same part of the brain as that of physical pain, which explains the pain we associate with a break up. And while the physical pain of being punched on the gut can be cured by a doctor, it is not exactly the case for breakups. The article cites time as one of the ways by which to achieve healing.

So, take your time. You are the only one who can ascertain when you are ready to move on. Just allow these women’s stories to help you not waste too much of your precious minutes on hurting.

How long does it take to move on? Part 1

2008-12-17T06:51:00.000-08:00

It’s been over a year since your last breakup and you still get upset by the mere mention of your ex-boyfriend’s name and still get torn to pieces at the sight of him with his new squeeze.

And now you start to wonder if it’s normal for you to still be feeling this crappy even after so much time has passed, and everyone—particularly your ex—seems to have moved on. You start to worry about why it seems to be taking you so long to forgive and forget.

How long does it really take women to completely—and truthfully—move on from a break up? Love experts can give answers and countless self-help books can give you tips on how to speed up the recovery process. Yet nothing beats real-life survivor stories of Filipino women who have been to break up hell and back. Real Filipino women of different ages and backgrounds give the full account of how long it took them to recover, and more importantly, how they were able to do it—several times over for some. If they were able to do it, you certainly could—in no time.

It depends on the relationship you had

For some women, the speed of recovery and how well they move on depends on how serious the relationship was and how long it lasted in the first place. Recounts Frances, 27, “If we only consider the really serious ones, it usually takes me close to a year to fully recover and move on—by fully I mean actually being able to talk to the guy face to face without being too uncomfortable and without referring too much to the previous relationship.” Frances recently got married to her boyfriend of three years, a relationship which she only entered a year and half after her last break up.

According to Vicki, 23, who also recently got hitched, it is easy to move on if the relationship shouldn’t have existed to begin with. “I once ended a relationship because I thought I entered it for all the wrong reasons, which spared me from having to endure a long, painful ‘getting over’ process. In fact, I was ready to move one the same day we broke it off,” she says.

‘The speed of recovery and how well they move on sometimes depends on how serious the relationship was and how long it lasted in the first place’

It takes Anna, 34, an average of two years to recover. She is now happily going steady with a boyfriend, yet she recalls with mortification, “The longest time it took me to move on was in fact three years. Gosh, can you believe, it took me that long? What was I thinking?”

But maybe the relationship was indeed remarkable enough to take such a long time to recover from. “It was a five-year relationship wherein we practically matured together,” says Anna. “In fact, I didn’t enter into another relationship until five years after the break up, which was bad, I must say.”

It’s how you split up

In some cases, how soon women move on from a break up depends on the manner of the break up. Vicki shares, “My last serious relationship took me six months to recover, which even had me shedding the occasional tear up to the fifth month, I think. What helped me snap out of it are some very unpleasant circumstances involving my ex: hurtful words were exchanged and there was emotional blackmail involved, which led me to totally abandon the thought of ever getting back together with him.”

Frances believes it usually takes longer to recover from a break up if there was so much anger. This happened in one relationship that lasted for three years before they called it quits. “We were too comfortable with each other, we tend to express ourselves too much when there’s conflict, we say nasty things,” Frances says. It was the break up she recovered the longest from, which took her a year.

The single woman's bible: Sexy, Sassy, Singularly Happy

2008-12-17T06:49:00.000-08:00

So, maybe he recently dumped you unceremoniously for that curvaceous girl in his new workplace. Or you’ve finally seen the light and left the little boy pretending to be a 26-year-old man who’s been weighing you down. Or maybe you’ve never really had anyone to breakup with in the first place. And now all you can think about is how miserable and uneventful your life is without a beau.

Yet singlehood need not be defined as the lowest, most boring time in a woman’s life. With the right attitude and outlook, it can be one of the most fun, exciting, and significant periods of our lives.

If you need some more guidelines—or if you are not yet convinced that being happily single is possible—get a copy of Marivi Soliven Blanco’s Sexy, Sassy, Singularly Happy: The Sassy Girl’s Guide to Enjoying the Single Life. This is definitely one book every single woman—whether newly single, single for some time, or single since birth—must have on her nightstand or even in her handbag. At all times.

Blanco offers tips, lists, and tongue-in-cheek insights on how a single woman should engage in activities and pursuits that she only has time and enthusiasm for when she’s single; date as noncommittally and with as much self-possession as a man; and even how she should be caring to dress.

“Singlehood is a marvelous time for experimenting with careers, vocations, fashion…and, lest we forget, men. Read this book and learn how to savor each adventure and extricate yourself from the most grievous dating mishaps,” Blanco writes in her introduction.

With sections such as “Spinster Stereotypes to Avoid,” “Better-off Single,” “Vanquish Ex-Man,” “Date Like a Man,” “Observe Date-tiquette,” “Thou Shalt not Wear Ecru,” “SGCC—The Single Girl’s Code of Conduct,” and “Savvy Sex,” Blanco ensures that you get a good laugh while having several “I should have known” moments.

So stop feeling like you can never be cheerful again until you find the next man in your life, and start reading. As Blanco guarantees, “I can’t promise it will help you get a date this Friday, but if you don’t this will at least help you feel better about staying home.”

The upside of being single

2008-12-17T06:40:00.000-08:00

Feeling a little down in the dumps 'cause it's another lonely night? So you’ve noticed that you’re the only one in your circle of friends who isn’t attached, engaged, or married? Snap out of it! Being single is not a curse.

If you're already hearing yourself saying, "I NEED a boyfriend," you're virtually admitting that you are pathetic. Remember, it's a desperate woman's mantra. Wanting to be loved and to be in a relationship is just normal; but you have to realize that if you love yourself more, you will become a better person.

"Being single affords each of us the opportunity to discover who we are, what we do and don't like, how we deal with things, what we want out of life, what our expectations are, what our potentials and limitations are, what energizes and empowers us, and what discourages and disappoints us," says Sherry Obenauer M.Ed., M.A.

If you learn to satisfy yourself and meet your needs, you would be able to share yourself to someone as a whole. Having someone else to fill in the gaps and trying to get from someone what is lacking in you could lead to disappointments and resentments.

“Treat yourself the way you want that someone special to treat you,” suggests Milton, Massachusetts-based life coach Kathleen Hassan. “Learn to love and accept yourself—just the way you are. Know that you’re worthy and deserving of only the best. Attracting love into your life starts by developing the attraction factor from the inside out.”

There's no reason to feel pathetic if you’re living a fulfilling life. So, why not make the most of it? Sit back, have a soda, and try belching as loud as you can!

4 Reasons He's Not Talking

2008-12-17T06:39:00.000-08:00

Even the most expressive dudes have moments when they don’t feel like talking to anyone, including you. Is it something you did? Maybe. Here, explanations for his zipped lips.

He’s Feeling Guilty
Women are smart—like Nancy drew smart—and guys know it. When your man has committed a minor crime (like casually e-mailing an ex), he may get quiet to avoid incriminating himself. Bryan, 29, engineer, cops to that kind of behavior. “I went to my girlfriend’s place after going out for happy hour. Since I had lied and told her I was working late, I just stared at the TV all night because I was scared I would let something slip accidentally.” Don’t worry—the occasional silence of this kind is usually only indicative of a small faux pas, not a major offense.

You Undermined Him
Sure, you don’t mean to bust his balls in public, but when you question your man or make a biting comment in front of other people, he feels stupid. After singeing his manhood, you can count on getting the cold shoulder. “This chick I took to my buddy’s wedding was telling all my hard0partying friends how I’d become a homebody,” says Jon, 24, bank employee. “I kept saying that it wasn’t true, thinking she’d get the hint and just shut up. Instead, she continued to fight me on it. I was so annoyed, I wouldn’t talk to her the whole next day.”

He Wants You To Quiet Down
Harping on the high-calorie count of your dinner or yammering on about why some girl’s not right for your brother are things that men don’t really care about. Our covert way of getting you to pipe down is clam up ourselves. “When my girl steers us into a conversational black hole, I stay quiet as a way of letting her know that I’m not interested in talking about dumb stuff,” says Kevin, 32, chef. “It took a while for her to catch on, but now she knows it’s my signal of disinterest.”

He Had A Hard Day
Put simply: If his day sucked, he’s not going to feel like rehashing the whole thing. You might feel better venting, but he doesn’t…at least not today. “If I sit down to dinner and mutely stare at the menu, my girl knows I’ve had a crappy day,” admits Kiko, 24, entrepreneur. “But she’s figured out that it’s not personal, so she waits it out. Halfway through the meal, I usually start to feel like myself again and will either talk about what happened or just direct the conversation toward lighter subjects.”

“I Was Afraid To Tell Her…”
Pinoy guys speak out.

“I would sometimes force myself not to call just so that I wouldn’t seem too anxious to talk to her.” —Brian, 29, entrepreneur

“I was afraid to tell her that I plan to look for opportunities to work abroad.” —Alvin, 29, account manager

“I was afraid to tell her about my past experiences with my ex.” —Peter, 30, division manager

“I was afraid to tell her I could understand and speak Tagalog.” —Javy, 28, product development manager

New-Love Freak-Outs Men Have

2008-12-17T06:38:00.000-08:00

Sure, we may act all laid-back, but underneath that cool exterior, we’re sometimes quaking in our boots. In fact, in the first few months of a relationship, men are often self-conscious and overly analytical. These are the biggie worries.

Your Long-Term Potential
In the beginning, guys aren’t exactly planning your future together. But, on occasion, a chick does something that shoots up a red flag and makes a dude wonder if she should get out ASAP.

Take Glen, 33, programmer: “A girl I was dating told me that she hated out-doorsy stuff, but I love going on adventures. I started stressing about how we could possibly work out. From then on, every high-maintenance thing she did made me take a step back until I just had to end it.”

If The Sex Is Good
After a period of being single, most guys are psyched to be getting sex on a regular basis. Still, he might worry about how his skills stack up. “When I’ve just started sleeping with a woman, I don’t know what she likes, so I get really paranoid that she’s not enjoying herself,” says Peter, entrepreneur.

So, encourage us when we do something right. And if we take a wrong turn, kindly point us in the right direction. It’s the best way to ease his anxiety and the only way he’ll learn.

His earning Potential
If you were looking for a sugar daddy, you wouldn’t be meeting guys at casual hang-out places. Even so, a part of him stresses that you yearn for a high roller. “I find myself listening for clues about what kind of lifestyle she wants,” admits Danny, 28, marketing associate. “If she says she doesn’t want to work once she has kids or talks about a fancy trip she took with an ex, I feel insecure.” To curb his insecurities, keep the money talk to a minimum.

If You’ll Go Crazy
Call it false advertising: A guy meets a seemingly chill girl, one who comments on the waitress’s good looks (“Ang ganda ng skin nya”) and doesn’t care what he did at that bachelor party. Fast-forward three months and, suddenly, her true crazy-chick colors start to show.

“I went out with this girl who seemed cool, but overnight, she changed,” says Sam, 24, bank employee. “She began breaking into my email account, accusing me of cheating. I was like ‘What the hell happened to my girlfriend?’”

Yeah, you could swear up and down that you’re not going to lose your mind, but that’s what all the crazies say Just stay freakin’ normal!

The silent ways he says I love you

2008-12-17T06:37:00.001-08:00

The first time I let a woman know I loved her, she walked right out of my life. Okay, okay, I didn’t say “I love you” exactly. But the setting couldn’t have been more romantic—the two of us basking in the afterglow of midmorning sex, breathless and blissful. We locked eyes and held each other for what seemed like forever. And that’s when I realized how much she meant to me. My phone was ringing in the background as I finally found the courage to brush back her hair and whisper three special words that would convey my feelings.

“Wanna get that?”

But the only thing she got was her clothes and the hell out of there.

What my beloved didn’t understand was that for me, the ringing phone didn’t interrupt the lovey-dovey moment, it defined the moment—the perfect opportunity to show her I wanted to share every part of my life with her. You see, men are stoic believers that actions speak louder than words. It’s why we play basketball rather than chat with friends, give flowers instead of uttering “I’m sorry’s,” and yes, send smoke signals instead of simply saying the L word. The problem: Those cryptic I’m-crazy-about-you messages (like letting you answer the phone to prove you have access to every private part of our lives) aren’t easily understood by you word-oriented women.

So I bribed my braver friends to break the male code of silence and fill you in on the unmistakable signs a guy’s gaga for you. If he does any of the following, he’s pretty much saying, you know, that phrase.

You catch him staring at your eyes.
The eyes are more than just windows to a man’s soul, they can also be a tattletale to what’s welling in his heart. Men always ogle the objects they desire—it’s the reason you’re always busting us cleavage peeping. So consider: With all that eye candy out there, if it’s you he’s staring at, his affection runs deep. There are two types of I-love-you looks. There’s the secret stare (you’ll have to catch him in the act). “Watching my girlfriend at a party allows me a private moment when I can pinch myself and wonder how I deserve this amazing person in my life—a perspective I can’t get when she’s right there in front of me,” says Patrick, 30.

Then there’s the steady gaze. Guys are guarded when it comes to showing emotion. When they lock eyes for a full-tilt, unabashed stare, they’re lowering their shield to let you in. “I’d never hold that sort of eye contact with anyone else, but an intense gaze with my girlfriend reflects how comforted and captivated I am by her,” says Chip, 29.

He stocks his kitchen with stuff you like.
Discovering that his kitchen is loaded with biscotti, cappuccino, and other feminine edibles (that would only pass his lips at gun point) shows you’re lingering on his mind on the most unexpected, unromantic places—like the produce aisle on a solo shopping trip. “One day I checked out my shopping cart and saw all the bags of baby carrots and the bottles of diet soda meant for my girlfriend,” says Patrick. “It struck me that it had become second nature for me to consider what would make her happy, and that’s when I knew I was in love.”

Furthermore, stocking up means he’s gone public with your place in his pad. You see, men like to maintain at least the image of being detached for as long as possible. So leaving unmistakable evidence in our home that there’s a woman present in our life is a bright red flag that you’re the one.

He talks about where he wants to live in three years.
Telling you he plans to relocate to the States one day may seem like a neon warning not to get any long-term ideas because your man’s getting set to leave you in the dust. However, it might also be his wily way of letting you know that he wants you in his future. “Every time I tell my girlfriend where I see ‘me’ down the road, I’m really trying to gauge whether she sees herself there with me,” says Jon, 26. So how do you know when a guy’s just bragging about his grand game plan and when he’s quietly declaring his love? It’s all in the way he talks. If he tells you he wants to move to Boracay, be a beach bum, and ogle the local girls, no dice. If he mentions that he sees himself eventually settling in Makati, then immediately asks if you could ever envision yourself living there, he’s emitting serious long-term relationship rays.

He wears the sweater you gave him all the time.
Trusting you behind the wheel of his wardrobe is something no man does readily. Not that guys are all that picky about their appearance, it’s just that we pride ourselves on being, well, ourselves. “Blame it on the inflated male ego, but to permit any tampering with our identity, even if it’s for the better, is considered a sign of weakness,” explains Peter, 29. consequently, every time a guy does don some item he obviously didn’t pick out for himself, he’s showing that he’s letting you take control and do a little remodeling. It’s a bold statement, one that guarantees he’ll encounter a certain amount of abuse from his peers. Translation: He’s willing to endure his pals’ ridicule to make you happy.

He stands right next to you in public.
Where he stands when you’re out together says a lot about where you stand in his life. Consider this key truth: Call us dogs for it, but guys are hardwired to check out women. “It’s second nature for men to scan every room they enter for possible trade-ups if he’s still in the market for Ms. Perfect,” says Robert, 31. That’s why when a man’s still uncertain about his feelings, he’ll either trail several feet behind you or get out in front of you and lead the path—two safety positions that keep his wandering eyes hidden. “But if he’s in love, he’ll squelch this most basic male instinct,” says Chad, 28. sliding up shoulder-to-shoulder is his way of showing his commitment by keeping his eyes right where you can see them. Plus, sticking close puts him in range of being touched in public by you, and that limits his ability to go after a sexy chick he may spy. “Being side by side puts my girlfriend within lips’ reach, making it easy for her to whisper in my ear or lean in for a surprise quick kiss,” says Ryan, 27. “It’s my way of telling other women I’m taken.”

He doesn’t flinch if you pick up his phone.
Men never know what potentially image-damaging force might be lurking on the other end of their phone line—from ex-girlfriends looking for a last hurrah to an overly inquisitive mom. If we let you answer that jingling time bomb, it means there’s absolutely nothing about us we want to keep concealed from you. “Men aren’t big on sharing. So when a guy lets you grab the phone—possibly making you privy to personal information you could use to blackmail him for the rest of his life—it means he’s planning on staying with you for a very long time,” says Richard, 29.

But more than just sharing his secrets, a guy handing you the rights to his receiver is essentially the same as giving you the key to his kingdom. “A guy’s phone is the last thing left in the relationship that’s truly his own,” says Jeremy, 26. “Giving up that remaining piece of autonomy is something I only do with someone I love.”

How to avoid doing something you'll regret in office Christmas parties

2008-12-17T06:30:00.000-08:00

Within the next couple of weeks, most of us will be attending our company holiday party. And while some may look at this annual event as the perfect opportunity to let loose and use too much alcohol as an excuse to profess their love for a colleague or make out with one—in full view of everyone—we beg to disagree.

Ever heard of the saying “A good reputation takes a lifetime to build and a second to destroy”? To help you avoid letting that destructive second happen during your office Christmas party, here are some “Office Holiday Party Dos And Don’ts” listed by Tangomag.com:

- Do let your hair down and wear something different from your usual office attire—be it in the form of a flattering LBD, standout accessories, or that striking red dress.
- But don’t forget that this IS an office party—hence, sexy clubbing outfits are not appropriate.

- Do give all the work-related talk a rest and get to know your officemates a little better—you just might be pleasantly surprised by what you’ll find out.
- However, don’t let the overflowing alcohol loosen your tongue, making you put your foot in your mouth. You’ll definitely hate coming to work the next day—or ever. Keep yourself employed and respected by colleagues.

- Do take this rare chance to flirt: dance with your office crush or at the very least exchange flirty looks, smiles, and words.
- And while he may think nothing of seeing you take a swig from your third bottle of beer, don’t push your luck by allowing the alcohol to give you “courage” to profess your possibly unrequited love for him. You know how it often ends up (clue: awkwardly, to say the least). And if somehow you’ve both expressed mutual lust for each other, remember to keep things private—wait until you’re alone elsewhere; your colleagues do not need to be witnesses, unwilling or otherwise.

Does age matter in relationships?

2008-12-17T06:29:00.000-08:00

At one point in our lives, a lot of us have dated a man who’s either too young or too old for us. Think ten years younger or older. At the very least. Did that particular dating stint stand out from the rest? Did it lead to a relationship? And did age spell the difference in the success or failure of that relationship?

Let’s focus on the relationship in which the woman is significantly older than the man, in the meantime. According to WebMD.com, sexual desire is one of the major considerations older women fall for younger guys. The ego boost from having a younger man still fall for her makes getting into this relationship even easier for the woman. Beyond the physical level, it seems younger men “offer a cultural understanding of older women that they just don’t get from men their own age or older,” as gender expert Susan Shapiro Barash was quoted as saying in the article.

Some younger men, meanwhile, tend to go for older women simply because she has achieved a certain level of experience, confidence, and sophistication—sexual or otherwise—which is a major turn-on. It also helps that older women somehow alleviate the pressure they feel about having to be the breadwinner.

What to get your guy for Christmas

2008-12-17T06:26:00.000-08:00

A lot of women have a hard time figuring out what to give the men in their lives. It’s not so much as finding a gift as getting them something they would actually love—and use.

Guys love gadgets. Period. So that can be a good headstart for you. But to give you more ideas, we asked some guys what gift they would like to receive from their girlfriends this Christmas. And some of the answers we got are not what you would normally expect.

I’d like the Adidas Originals sports jacket, which is ideal for running and jogging in the cold. – Rock Jehiel Manuel, 27

A bottle of good Vodka would be great! I’ll start preparing cocktails for both of us—and get us both royally drunk! - Paolo Cruz, 23

A whole week of non-stop full body massage to pamper my tired body and simultaneously prepare it for the waiting tasks next year. - Paolo Mariano, 23

I’d like a web cam, so we can keep in touch even if we’re countries apart. – Tom, 27

A Nintendo Wii! – Leo, 26

I’d love shoes, particularly the Adidas Spezial, which looks like the Samba. - Vladimir Guariña, 26

A nice surprise of home made dessert or kahit anong pagkain would be really nice, mahilig kasi ako sa pagkain. - Jose Bimbo Santos, 23

Her making it clear that she's going to spend the holidays with me is enough. - Brian Sales, 23

"Free time" so I could spend every weekend with her. – Istop, 25

I would like to receive a very simple gift from my girlfriend: just a short letter telling me that I’m still her only guy, and that she loves me, more than any other. - Marco Sindiong, 22

If it's something material, I'd like to receive pajamas. If not material, a special kiss while she hugs me will do. I find it super romantic, and I don’t forget pa naman. That image will play over and over in my head. What better Christmas gift is there? - Dexter Matilla, 26

The prefect gift I want to receive this Christmas from my girlfriend is her approval of my getting a new tattoo! I think that would be really sweet and would touch my heart to the very core, to just hear her say, "You know what, I want you to get your tattoo...and I'll even come with you! I’ll be there to hold your hand!" That's because she’s not into the "getting a tattoo" idea at all. I don't think I'll ever convince her to allow me to get another one. It would be great if she could only understand the meaning of getting permanently inked with bright colors and the most beautiful design. It’s just who I am...it’s my art. – JR, 23

These guys have spoken. We'd also like to know what male FN readers would like to receive from their girlfriends. And you, FN girls, what do you intend to give your man this Christmas?

F.L.I.R.T.

2008-12-08T06:08:00.000-08:00

You’re guilty of flirting if you find yourself fluttering your eyelashes at that cute new neighbor, giving a random guy that sexy flip of the hair, tilting your head to the side when talking to a guy friend, etc.

But don’t be ashamed, there’s nothing wrong with flirting! Truth is, flirting is nature's solution to quickly and safely judge the value of potential mate without "going all the way."

If you’re new to flirting, or want to enhance your flirting prowess, these key words may help you attract others to you.

F- is for flatter. The fastest way to a person’s heart is by complimenting them. Find something you really like about that person: their hair perhaps, their clothes, the way they smell, etc. Of course you need to be sincere.

L- is for listen. People love when you listen to them, it shows that you are really interested in that person and really care what they are talking about.

I- is for intimacy. Keep your body language open and inviting: make eye contact, lightly touch the person's hand or arm when telling a story, toss your head back when you laugh. Smile, it will show the person that you are friendly and nice. If you smile, you might get one back.

R- is for responsible. Don't lie, don't send mixed messages, be yourself. Men see the world in more sexual terms than women so, men find it particularly difficult to interpret the more subtle cues in a woman's body language and tend to mistake friendliness for sexual interest.

T- is for trust. Trust yourself, be confident, bold, and daring. Trust yourself that you will come out knowing that even if you didn't get the guy/girl that you wanted, you definitely have made their day.

Rejecting a guy? No problem!

2008-12-08T06:06:00.000-08:00

Sure, attention from a suitor can be flattering but you’re just not seeing yourself committed to him.

Be honest and direct to him; leave no room for misinterpretation, because apparently, guys tend to misread a friendly gesture. Here are some tips to reject a guy BUT NOT break his heart:

1) Apologize if you've given him the wrong impression or led him on in any way. Let him know that you appreciate the attention but you aren’t available for a romantic relationship yet.

2) He should not feel like trash at your rejection. Instead of giving out personal comments about him, tell him you’ve enjoyed meeting him BUT you’re just not interested in seeing anyone right now. Explain that you're busy with work, school, or extracurricular activities and that you won't have time to talk.

3) If he still pursues you, display subtle clues. If you’re both employed in the same company and work in the same department, allow him to overhear you tell a colleague about a new guy you met or a rekindling romance with your ex. If he’s in your social circle, make sure he sees you flirting with another guy.

4) When all else fails, set him up with an acquaintance or a friend. Assure him he would probably match with someone else instead of you.

If he persists in asking you out, just be firm and clear. Sooner or later, you'll get the message across.

How not to say "I love you"

2008-12-08T06:02:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been in a relationship when you constantly say, “I love you”? Or were you in a situation when you can’t even say those three words?

The most important lesson about the words “I love you” is this: Your actions must always be in-sync with these words—or the meaning behind this statement becomes null and void!

Andrew Christensen, a psychologist at UCLA, explains that when one is saying “I love you” too many times a day (that means three times or more), this signals an underlying anxiety disorder. Just as a person with an anxiety disorder might check over and over again to make sure a door is locked.

“Sometimes these are almost like compulsive acts. If someone really does it that often, she could be seeking reassurance.” Christensen adds that “Perhaps she feels he is such a wonderful catch and she can’t do any better, and that he has more options,” he says. “That could make her feel insecure in the relationship. Being directly or indirectly aware of a power differential can lead to anxiety and reassurance seeking.”

To prevent from possibly annoying your guy, here are some tips for saying those three little (but so big!) words.

1) Don’t rush; be sure to really mean what you say. You may express your feelings on the phone, in person, on line, by mail. Choose your favorite way, you may change it at any time. Think about how you'd like to let your partner know the way you feel, keeping in mind that uttering those words may give birth to a lifelong memory. If spontaneity works for you, wait for the perfect moment. If you're more methodical, consider writing a love letter first, then telling your mate in person the next time you get together.

2) After you’ve said, “I love you,” tell him the specific traits and habits that you love about him. Don’t just repeat this generic phrase or you will chew the entire flavor out of it. Hold his hands, and make eye contact, this gives the moment the intimacy it deserves.

3) Don’t say your first “I love you” during a time of intensity—be that either making love or making war. If you say it during sex, your partner may doubt the sincerity of your proclamation. If you say it during a fight, you might only be doing so to gain control of the situation.

Remember it’s always better to learn new ways to say or express what you feel.

Infidelity: What are the warning signs?

2008-12-08T05:59:00.000-08:00

You kiss your boyfriend goodbye and alight from his car. You are wearing his ring, promised to be together for life. But upon ascending the stairs, you see your colleague smiling at you. You smile back, because you recall the perfume he’s wearing last night when he’s kissing your body. Suddenly, someone taps you and asks how you are, and then you wipe that smile away because she’s your officemate’s girlfriend.

Infidelity! It happens everywhere. Offices, call centers, hospitals, and even in churches. Infidelity can be affairs that are emotionally intense but are non-sexual; purely sexual involvements with no emotional bond or can include both sexual and emotional involvement.

You have to be careful. Co-workers often are required to function together, thus resulting to closeness. And if both are weak, it can develop to feelings of intimacy. Wipe out that smirk on your face! Be honest with yourself. Are you dressing up to please someone at work? Or when you are making love with your partner, are you thinking of another person?

Attractions are a fact of life when men and women work side by side. Temptations are ubiquitous and irresistible. It is inevitable that sometimes you have romantic or sexual thoughts about another person. Now, what should you do if this happens? If you are ready to hurt your present partner and switch to a new guy then respond to your officemate’s flirtations. But if you think that you can’t lose your boyfriend, then STOP before you regret.

Warning Signs:

1. Proximity. If you think you are attracted to that guy, physically pull away every time he’s trying to press his body parts against yours. Don’t give him a signal that you like it.

2. Internet temptations: Emails can be very encouraging. If you need to email that person, always have a professional tone.

3. Texting: Nowadays, this is the most common avenue of flirting. Simple words like “Good morning,” or “Have you eaten?” may lead to a more intimate conversation. Both of you may have sleepless nights because you are marathon-texting till 4AM and what’s weird, you told your boyfriend you slept early so he wouldn’t bother you.

4. Peers. Sometimes your friends just can’t stop teasing you because they can see compatibility, or you look good together. Sometimes the group itself tolerates infidelity.

Usually office affairs start from infatuation. You feel this excitement and you are addicted to the feeling. When you are out of the office, you don’t feel good and you are easily irritated with your boyfriend’s presence. Then come arguments—it goes to vicious circularity and eventually break-up. Just a word of caution, how sure are you that your officemate loves you as much as your present beau? How sure are you that this euphoria will last long? Is it worth it? If not, then forget it before you regret it.

Is your true love your "greatest" love?

2008-12-08T05:56:00.000-08:00

What is love? Love is the license to have sex. Love is kind, love is not jealous, or does not keep a record of mistakes. Love is the agony of one, the ecstasy of two, and the downfall of three. Definitions can go on and on. But do we really know the real essence of love? Maybe not? Because if humankind knows, why is it most are hurt, many are left behind, and only few real love stories prevail?

There are so many theories: Physiological, Philosophical, or even Biblical. But no amount of human intelligence can really decipher what love is. Love is not only queer that we think it is, but also queerer than we can think.

Infatuation: It is an insanely intense physical attraction. Infatuation is love of emotion. Many young couples tend to believe that what they are feeling is true. The emotion is too strong that it makes them unreasonable. As a result, teeners tend to forget most of the important things in life like education and good future. Their focus is to pursue that intense feeling, that euphoric feeling. But sadly it is just temporary.

I am not saying that this is just for teeners. Many adults still fall into the trap. This is something biochemical thus even if you are married, or in a serious relationship, you can still find your co-worker sexy, and when his leg brushed up against yours, you might want to go out of the friendship zone. The problem with infatuation is it makes you feel good, it's too addictive, BUT it is also short-lived. Usually, when reality sets in, you are already pregnant, you already cheated on your husband, or you already have ruined a precious relationship.

True love: This one involves enduring commitment, maturity, and communicative relationship. Compared to infatuation, true love grows in a natural pace. It does not push but is willing to wait. For infatuation, couples tend to have sex immediately, while true love waits for the perfect moment. Why? Because it respects. It thinks of the highest good of the other person. Thus, a boyfriend must control his urge if you are fertile, if you cannot because you're tired.

If your partner yells at you, or embarrasses you, it is not true love. True love is tact, sensitive, and has social graces. True love does not broadcast to the world the faults of others. If you tend to tell your friends that your boyfriend sucks in bed, then qualify your feelings. True love endures in silence, and it is never self-centered. However, sometimes true love is not enough. Still it falls short. For example couples drift apart because of a long-distance love affair. The heart becomes lonely and true love can't hold on. True love sometimes fails when family matters or economics interject. The family does not accept, religion does not allow, or same sex marriage is prohibited. True love gives way. True love takes years to forget.

Greatest Love: It is similar to true love but great love transcends. Greatest love is timeless. One lifetime is never enough to consume greatest love. This is the type of love that even the universe conspires for that love to happen. It stands above everything. It outdoes distance, generations, and time. It loves even unreturned. It is unconditional, and can even give up life for the loved one. Does it exist? Yes it does. How do I know? I have one. I don't mind marrying this person everyday, and all the more I won't mind giving up my life even if I only have one breath left.

At the end of the day, hold your partner's hand, close your eyes and think, is he my greatest love? If not, you might want to find your greatest love. Remember, the gods conspire for one great love.

Why women are the stronger sex

2008-12-08T05:42:00.000-08:00

Centuries ago, women were treated as though they were smaller than men. Sadly, there are still men who believe that they are superior. Is it because they really are better than women? Or do females also believe that they are just second class?

I am just writing this article to adore women’s strength. Here are some reasons why you should be proud to be a woman.

Sexual. While men can cum once and then need to rest, women can go all the way. The penis gets soft (tumescence) after one ejaculation. On the other hand, women can have multiple orgasms. After one blissful episode, the penis shrinks while the vagina dilates, expands, and is ready to have more. Since sex is power, females are very powerful. The pleasure that they can give men is immeasurable.

Emotional. Though women have mood swings, it is a fact that females can adjust better during crisis or painful situations. Women tend to be more pliable and can withstand stressful events, that’s why women have less problems with drinking than men. As a result, men are more prone throughout most of their lives to high blood pressure. Moreover, less occurrence of cardiovascular disease in women may be linked to the female hormone, estrogen, which is produced mostly by the ovaries and protects the blood and heart from diseases.

Egg cell. Every ejaculation, there are millions of sperms released, swimming fast, competing to triumphantly be the first one to reach the egg. For the female egg, it is different: The other eggs will atrophy and give way to one egg. Thus, the sole egg will get its proper nourishment, and better viability. The egg cares and submits itself for better offspring. Shouldn’t you be proud?

‘A mature woman should realize her strengths in order to complement and harmonize with his man’

Greatest pain. Only a woman can handle the greatest pain in life: giving birth. Females have a higher threshold for pain, and giving life is the highest sacrifice that a person can do. Women can produce something inside their bodies and let it out breathing and kicking. It’s a big wonder. Many scientists tried to inoculate human life but failed, while women have been producing life for ages.

Genesis. God created man according to His likeness. So He pulled some clay and created a Man. So technically, man came from soil. Then the Supreme Being created a woman, not coming from soil, but from human tissue. So by origin, females are like upgrades.

Some will say guys need women more than they need them. Women can take care of themselves whereas men can't. (Hmm, but this one sounds bitter, has your boyfriend left you?)

I am writing this not to discredit men. Women need men as men need women. A mature woman should realize her strengths in order to complement and harmonize with her man. Together, they should embrace eternally to grow spiritually and journey through this needy world. Look at your hand, woman, it has finger webs. That is used to hold your man’s hand tightly and dream that the world is a better place for people with love in their hearts. Kiss your man and say “I love you.”

The most expensive gift

2008-12-08T05:41:00.000-08:00

Reasons a guy disappears on you

2008-12-08T05:39:00.000-08:00

Everything was going so perfectly: the guy you like asks you out; you go on a fantastic date; he asks you out two or three more times; he seems to be really into you; you take things a little further. The next day, he’s gone. Without so much as an excuse or an explanation. How upsetting is that?

Before you tear your hair out figuring out what went wrong (and blaming yourself for that matter), realize that this might actually be the best way to go. Remember the adage “What you don’t know won’t hurt you?” The article "Why men go poof" cites one of the reasons a man disappears on you: he probably just wants to spare your feelings by not telling you what’s really on his mind—which could be along the lines of “You’re a great woman but there is no chemistry between us,” “I’m looking for casual dating and it seems you want more,” or “I just wanted a booty call.” You wouldn’t want it if he ever told you that to your face, right? He’s also probably just avoiding the drama that would ensue if he ever does.

A male-point-of-view article on MarieClaire.com cited six other reasons why a guy would inexplicably stop seeing and communicating with you. Learn from these and move on. You’re probably better off without him anyway.

1. He’s chasing someone else. Men love the chase. Some even enjoy just the chase. So if he suddenly lost interest after you’ve gone out, you know he’s found another prey. Don’t take it personally.

2. He’s focused on everything but love. It could be his family, the rent he has to pay, his upcoming promotion or trouble with his boss. While your few dates may have been amazing at some point, it might have been a temporary thing to distract him from the other things going on in his life.

3. You’re a friend. The author warns women that sometimes men can’t tell when we’re interested in them. Romance can complicate friendships, and since guys value friendships as much as women do, they are always wary of elevating things to a more serious level.

4. He thinks you’re too serious. If he’s not ready to take the relationship seriously (and by this we also mean making it exclusive) then it’s not going to work. If he thinks you’re “too serious” for him, then you’re better off without him: it wasn’t clicking at the right time.

5. His damned sidekick. Guys love to have partners in crime. And if his best buddy is still playing the field and partying hard, it will still be very hard for him to pull himself away from it all.

6. He’s into one of your friends. If a guy you like happens to like one of your friends, naturally he’s going to try to get to her by being with you. This can be very misleading for you, and while usually it works itself out pretty quickly, we hope this never happens to you. Never risk your friendships for any romantic prospects.

So if you find that a once so persistent guy suddenly stops seeing or talking to you, he is most likely doing so for one of the reasons above. Spare yourself the time and trouble of finding out what went wrong. He’s probably not worth it. The right guy for you will never leave you wondering about such things.

Are you a stalker-girlfriend?

2008-12-08T05:37:00.001-08:00

There is such a thing as a woman’s intuition, wherein we know, we just know, when our man is cheating on us. Yet there is a thin line that separates this from simply being too paranoid—and that’s the sheer lack of trust in your partner.

Dating coach David Wygrant names six relationship-ending behavior you must avoid at all cost (apart from cheating, of course). Trust is one of the strongest foundations of a relationship, and anything that would threaten or ruin this could spell the end of your relationship. So based on David’s list, assess yourself by answering the following:

1. Are you checking his email, his phone, or his Friendster account for suspicious names and messages?
2. Are you telling “white lies” to prevent your partner from being hurt by the truth—or simply to avoid a heated argument?
3. Are you snooping around your partner’s private things (i.e. his wallet, drawer, private records—even mobile phone bills?)
4. Are you stalking your own boyfriend—by driving by his house, checking if he’s at work, or worse, following his car?
5. Are you asking one or more of your friends to spy on your partner during a gimmick, listen in on his conversations, or gather information about him for you? Or do you actually request that they take photos of him for you while he’s out?
6. Do you call or text him excessively to check up on him? Did you ring his phone at least 10 times when he still won’t pick up or reply to your messages?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these self-evaluation questions, get a grip on yourself and think of the consequences of your actions. Assess if you are being reasonable or just paranoid. By losing trust in him, you will eventually cause him to lose trust in you—ruining a potentially beautiful relationship. Don’t let that fault fall upon you, no matter what.

Dating mistakes to avoid

2008-12-08T05:32:00.000-08:00

How do you make sure the first date is followed by a second and a third—provided you remain interested in the man you are dating?

Make sure you avoid these common dating mistakes, then, especially on first dates. Doing so ensures you both have a successful dating experience. At the very least, avoiding these will spare you irritating thoughts such as “What was I thinking when I said that?” or “I wish I didn’t do that.”

Dressing inappropriately. At least make an effort to look good, if not your best, for the date. And dress in the proper attire for whatever activity you’ve planned out.

Trying a new restaurant or a place that is beyond your means and having too many plans. Don’t set yourself or your date up for embarrassment by recommending a restaurant you haven’t tried and would later regret visiting. Ditto for a place too fancy that would cost your date more than he bargained for. Also, don’t plan too many activities for your first date, especially if you don’t know each other too well yet. You may be stuck with someone who bores you to tears and have no way out. Just play it by ear.

Talking too much. There should be a fair exchange of words. And when you talk, don’t look away constantly or watch other people because this shows lack of interest in your date and whatever he has to say.

Wait until you know each other and the intentions for the relationship before jumping into bed. Leave no room for regrets.

Talking about money, politics, religion, and exes. Avoid these topics at all costs during dates. Focus on getting to know each other’s character and personality through light stories. Avoid being too sensitive and exchanging strong opinions, too. Don’t be shallow or overly confident. It’s good to talk about yourself but not in a way that makes you look like God’s gift to man.

Have sex on the first date. Even if you believe both of you are willing and ready to jump to bed on the first date, wait until you have really gotten to know each other and your intentions for the relationship before you bring sex to the equation. Leave no room for regrets.

Fantasizing about the future is a big no-no. CognitiveTherapyAssociates.com writes, “When you catch yourself trying on his last name before the third date, it's time to remind yourself to slow down. Don’t let your emotions interfere with your ability to think clearly. Until you have time to really get to know someone, it is helpful to not get ahead of yourself; don't strongly attach to some illusion you have created about the person.” This is to avoid depression if it doesn’t work out. Also avoid obsessing over details and over-analyzing the situation and the things he says and does. “Try to tap into your self-confidence and trust that if the relationship is meant to work, it will.”

Ignoring the red flags. It’s one thing not to over-analyze the things he does, but it’s also another to overlook subtle warnings such as being stood up for dates, calls left unanswered, and other jerk signals he may be sending.

Avoid these dating mistakes to be fair to yourself and your date. He may not turn out to be the man of your dreams, but if you are a great date to one man, chances are, more men would want to take you out, too. Keep your options open until you find Mr. Right.

From your experience, what other dating mistakes must we avoid?

Is it love or lust? How to tell if it's just a booty call

2008-12-08T05:31:00.000-08:00

How do you tell if a man is really interested in you…or in going to bed with you?

At some point in a woman’s life, she would really meet a man who, one way or another, would go to great lengths just for a booty call or no-strings-attached sex. In a moment of weakness, some women really do fall for the act—and end up regretting it. So beware of these men and be among the smart ones who elude them. Here are the red flags to take note of:

He only calls late at night. “Late night calls do not equal serious intentions,” reads the article “10 Signs a Man is Not Ready to Commit.” If he only calls late at night, shouldn’t that make you wonder what he could possibly be doing between 8AM to 9PM? Surely, at some point between those hours, he’ll find the time to call or at the very least exchange a few text messages with you. Unless he has a really strict or erratic schedule, if the man has any respect for you, he will call you in a reasonable hour.

He Only Comes to See You Late at Night. He is always too busy to come see you during the day, but as soon as it gets dark (or sometimes in the wee hours of the morning) he’s suddenly at your doorstep—or inviting you to meet up. Similar to late night calls, unless he has a pretty good excuse not to see you during the day, don’t fall for it. The biggest giveaway: the venue. Is it always either at your house or his—behind closed doors? If a guy is truly into you, he will make an excuse to see you during the day.

He is totally focused on your looks and body—and not on anything you have to say. Askmen.com tells men that it’s lust if they only care about a woman’s looks and body, already fantasizing about what it would be like to have sex with her. Take a hint. Are you barely talking when you’re out together, and you only see him staring mesmerized at your face—and other parts of your body for that matter? Don’t be fooled; it’s not pure-hearted adoration, trust us. Does he seem bored or irritated when you’re hanging out in a place and situation that could not possibly lead to some action? Or can he go for days or weeks without talking to you? If you answered “yes” to these, whatever he has for you can only be lust.

He does not do things that indicate he’s in love with you. In the same article, Askmen.com lists signs that a man is falling for a woman. If he’s not doing any of the things that spell he’s in love with you—such as finding you beautiful even when you look your worst, wanting to spend so much time with you no matter the activity or time of day, introducing you to his family and friends, among other things—and instead does the red flags we’ve listed above, you know what to do: get out of that potential mess.

Personality types men avoid

2008-12-08T05:30:00.000-08:00

Single women: do you sometimes find yourself wondering why guys don’t ask you out? Or why your first or second dates are never followed by another?

We recently told you some of the possible reasons a man would disappear on you after a few dates. If you’ll notice, these are his issues, not yours. A male FN reader posted a comment on the article saying, “It takes two to tango,” and he’s probably right. So this time, we’re presenting the other side of the coin: female personality types that make men go poof.

We can never truly understand the dynamics of men’s criteria for selecting the women they go after. But it may help to know the types of women they certainly wouldn’t want to date. Here are five types of women that men avoid at all cost, according to dating website eHarmony.com:

1. The Flirty-Bird. Men love a woman who flirts: she is fun, charming, and outgoing. She shows interest right away, which makes life easier for men. Yet the article differentiates between a situational flirt and a serial flirt; the latter is what men avoid. A serial flirt giggles, touches, and tosses her hair at everyone: his best friend, her boss, his brother. It shows the guy she needs constant attention and perhaps has major self-esteem issues. This kind of behavior immediately gets old and tiring for a man.

2. The Commitment-Phile. This woman puts a lot of pressure on the man to get serious after only a few dates or months of dating. She makes a man wonder if she’s really in love with him or with the idea of a happily-ever-after—no matter who she is with. It also indicates self-centeredness on her part.

3. The Cling-On. She is needy and can’t go anywhere or do anything without her man by her side. She gets herself involved in his activities and affairs, calls more than ten times a day, and goes berserk each time she fails to receive a reply to a call or text message asking his whereabouts. She stifles her man and doesn’t give him a chance to miss her. He will soon realize she is too high-maintenance, and eventually run out of energy and patience for her demands and obvious lack of trust.

4. The Party Girl. She seems the life of the party: someone who’s fun to be around, a little wild and lighthearted. She dances well and gives really witty remarks. A man would naturally be intrigued to spend a little more time with her. But once he does, he realizes she lives to party and wonders if she’ll ever be her same outgoing self when the party is over and it’s time to go. And we all know that people who become too dependent on alcohol and other mind-altering substances for fun are not exactly the best choices for serious relationship partners.

5. The Windbag. She never knows when to shut up! She seems self-absorbed, and never tires of talking about herself and her opinions. She also has Drama-Queen tendencies, which is never good. She can make a guy feel like he doesn’t exist since she doesn’t need him to participate in the conversation anyway.

Of course there are exceptions to these personality types, and it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to singlehood forever if one or more of these personality types seem to describe you. These are just illustrations of how you should balance out your personality to be more approachable and beautiful inside out—and to complement any man you will, at one point, find yourself interested in. Keep your mind open—and your options, too.

Love myths debunked

2008-12-08T05:22:00.000-08:00

A lot of us grew up being exposed to fairy tales—all of which ended with the overused “And they lived happily ever after” that all of us, at one point or another, secretly long for. Somehow, these seemingly harmless tales have affected our perceptions of love and our Prince Charming (or in grown up lingo, “Mr. Right”) that we can’t wait to find. As grownups, all these cheesy Hollywood romantic comedies aren’t helping us either.

Reality check: what we don’t know is how these myths can actually ruin our chances of finding the partner who’s right for us. Living by these myths, whether consciously or unconsciously, could actually lead to a lot of disillusionment and disappointment. So we gathered common love myths you should let go of so you can hopefully bring a better and more successful outlook to your love life.

Someday my Prince will come to rescue me from this life and fulfill all my needs. Are you waiting for a man who will come to make your life better? According to dating website eHarmony.com, you’ll probably wait forever, then. You mustn’t peg your happiness or the improvement of your life on anyone else but yourself. No man can make you happier, richer, or more successful. Besides, who in his right mind would want to take that burden upon himself? You’ll only become dependent on your partner. So scrap the idea that you’ll one day mutter the Jerry Maguire line “You complete me” to someone. Resolve your issues and be confident about yourself. The right partner will fulfill your needs but never all of them.

Love at first sight. What you will usually experience at first sight is just infatuation. It takes a lot of time and effort from both parties to get to know each other and eventually find true love.

My soulmate or “The One” is out there. If you're still looking for The One, you’d only find yourself single and still searching for a very long time. Thanks to Hollywood, we have the illusion that our soulmate will just come right at us at the right moment. Are you frustrated you still haven’t found yours? The good news is there’s no such thing as The One. In your search for love, you will actually meet a lot of potential The Ones, and it’s up to you to stay open-minded, be your best self, and keep your options open before you decide who really is for you. It is possible for you to experience true love with more than one person in your lifetime. And stop thinking that your man should be perfect, too. You’ll only be limiting your options and setting yourself up for disappointment.

There is no such thing as love at first sight. It usually is just infatuation.

Love is a feeling. This isn’t the first time you’re hearing this, we’re sure. Yes, real love brings feelings of butterflies in your stomach, your heart skipping beats, and giddiness you can’t control. Yet relationship experts will always tell us that, more than anything, love is a verb. It’s all about doing and putting in a lot of effort to make the relationship work.

“If you love me, you’ll change (among other demands).” And believing that he will actually change. You make love conditional upon your man, asking him to constantly prove his love for you by doing what you demand. Apart from showing lack of trust, you’re also setting yourself up for disappointment. Even Marie Claire Editor-in-Chief Myrza Sison, in her MyFN Chat held last July, said that you mustn’t change a guy since “the only one who will benefit is his next girlfriend.” If you get into a relationship ignoring all the red flags just because you think you can change a man once you’re together, it’s unlikely you’ll ever succeed. People change because they want to and rarely when you ask or pressure them to.

And they lived happily ever after. Real love and relationships require a lot of effort, and they often involve a lot of disappointments, arguments, challenges, and even tragedies. You actually need all these to make the relationship stronger. It’s never smooth-sailing and picture-perfect after your first kiss, but isn’t that what makes relationships exciting and colorful? You constantly need to work it out and communicate.

True love conquers all. Love is not enough to make a relationship work. It needs compatibility, commitment, communication, and a lot of effort, as mentioned above.

Why he hasn't proposed -- yet

2008-12-08T05:14:00.000-08:00

You’ve been in a serious relationship for three to five years, you’re close to each other’s family, and you’ve shared many deep conversations and intimate moments (not to mention great sex). Or, for those who want to formalize relationships: you may have been dating seriously for at least a year or more but he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend. In both cases, you’re left wondering: why hasn’t he proposed?

Before you start tearing your hair out and exhausting your brain in trying to figure him out, understand the possible reasons he may have for not proposing yet and know how to deal with them, as discussed in the articles “Why Hasn’t He Proposed? 7 Reasons And How to Fix Them” and “Will He Ever Propose?” Even if you’re only wondering why he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend, simply replace all references to “wife” and “marriage” with “girlfriend” and “relationship” and you’ll find these tips useful for you, too.

1. He hasn’t thought of it. He doesn’t need to get to the next level the way you do. It might go against his ways to be tied to a wife at the moment. But show (not tell) him that you’re a prize catch.

2. You’re his virtual wife already—why should he make it formal? You already do for him the things a wife does: cook, shop, give advice, sex, and care for him. If you want to marry him, it has to be worth his while. “Ask yourself: What does he get if he marries me that he doesn’t get if we keep things the way they are—and is that valuable to him?” Get the correct answer to this and put it into action.

3. None of his pals are married and he doesn’t want to give up his independence. He may love you with all his heart and looks at no other woman but you, yet the thought of settling down and possibly losing his independence may discourage him. Assure him of the freedoms he will keep and new ones he’ll enjoy once you’re committed.

Show (not tell) him that you're a prize catch.

4. He likes it the way it is, why change? "Lucky for you, eventually he’ll realize he’s getting older. Not as quickly as women realize it, but time does come when guys realize they don’t want to be alone forever." If he speaks of such things, agree that it’s a valid concern—nothing more.

5. He is in no hurry biologically or emotionally. Guys can take no notice of the biological clock’s ticking much longer and with less consequence. And for most of them, earning money is "supplying plenty of satisfaction;" kids are not in their list of priorities because they want to maximize their “fulfillment quotient.” But he will eventually want kids. Question is: will it be with you?

6. He’s not yet ready financially. We all know it’s expensive to get married and eventually start a family. He may just be saving up or would like to be secure in his career first so he can provide for and take care of you.

7. He’s unsure about you. Realize that having been together long enough to even think of taking it to the next level is already a good sign. Maybe he’s just contemplating really well and being extra careful before he devotes himself fully to you. Just enjoy each moment with him, and he’ll soon decide that you really are the one for him.

8. He’s afraid to ask (but don’t count on it). Unless he’s really clinically torpe, he’s not afraid. He just isn’t ready, hasn’t thought of it, or simply doesn’t want to. So if you can’t wait any longer, best to get his thoughts on getting married now—specifically with you. You may not like the answer, but at least you know. But if you still have time, practice the previous tips, and the answer might sweep you both off your feet.

Choosing between love and sex

2008-12-08T05:11:00.000-08:00

There has been this long-standing question: Would you go with the one you love or the one who loves you? It can be more difficult than a board exam question but that’s just how it goes; life sometimes throws a joke on us, and the difficult part is how we have to make a stand.

Now here is another eternal puzzle: if you only have one option, would you stay in a relationship that has great sex but less love or in a partnership with pure love yet sex is bad? You might say this question is a no-brainer. It’s easy to say you’ll choose a relationship with greater love over sex; yet let’s still try to see both sides of the coin.

Believe me, it will burn you big time to sleep every night with a guy who is “Microsoft” (micro and soft) or with a partner that can never bring your sail to the harbor. You’ll only end up resorting to porn flicks or fantasizing about your ex who happens to be a jerk yet is gifted with a really nice, huge member. If your man cannot satisfy your needs in bed, you end up hanging out with friends too often, all the while pretending that all is good, including the humping. But if you remain unable to resolve this issue, the relationship will eventually crumble; it is in fact one of the grounds for annulment or divorce.

On the other hand, what if sex is heavenly but you remain just that: a fuck buddy with no commitment to hold on to, with nothing more than a smoke and shower after sex? Would you settle for this kind of situation? The good thing about this is you’ll have a lot of happy hormones, making your immune system more efficient. There are also no emotional attachments, allowing you to have more with another person, if you wanted to. Yet the downside is quite harsh: you’ll feel like a big slut, used and misused. And there will be a time when you’ll finally get satiated.

Sex alone would only make you lonely, while love without great sex would leave you quick-tempered and rose petal-dry. Love and sex should go together; it should co-exist and complement each other. If one is missing, the couple should strive to obtain both. It’s always better if the relationship is founded on true love: love that is less of a concept and more of a decision and passion that springs from within.

Humans have a hierarchy of needs. If one need is unsatisfied, you will get fixated. No matter how hard you try to move further, your unsatisfied needs will haunt you. So it is your job to pursue love, then real making love, and finally nirvana.

Warning signs of a relationship headed for the rocks

2008-12-08T05:07:00.000-08:00

I have talked to a lot of women who cry over their relationship. I listen closely each time and wonder, with all the bad things happening and the way she is being treated, why is she even staying?

Are you also going through the same thing? Then it’s time to figure out your relationship. It might have changed over the years, and maybe this is no longer the relationship you wanted before. Here are warning signs that your relationship is in trouble.

Frequent fighting. You fight about big issues and bicker on minor ones. Maybe, both of you are quick-tempered, and sometimes you can’t seem to find anything nice to say. There’s hostility every time you talk. As a result, being with your partner is not fun anymore, and you feel happier when you are doing different things; you’d rather go out with friends than go on a date with him.

Diminished or lack of sex life. If physical intimacy is gone, there’s definitely a problem. It usually stems from a really bad sex life or unresolved problems that developed into distaste between the two of you. One of you might start fantasizing about another person, and that might eventually lead to unfaithfulness.

Cheating. This is the most common, obvious, and, I believe, most painful sign (if not the cause) that your relationship is headed for the rocks. It is never an accident but a result of discontent and tarnished self-concept. When this happens, the relationship will never be the same. It is difficult to forgive and quite impossible to forget. Consequently, it will be very difficult to recuperate from the trauma and loss of trust.

Growing separately and building different dreams. This is the saddest sign of all. While one dreams of living abroad in hopes of a better life, the other insists on staying in spite of initially agreed upon plans of migrating.

These are just some of the warning signs of a troubled relationship. There are other soft signs that warrant immediate attention and action. Maintaining a responsible and happy relationship is a challenge. Take action before your problems develop into an irresolvable situation. Talk to your partner, communicate, and invite him to new activities to avoid boredom. Discover things together.

Both parties should take part in nurturing the relationship. If sexual activities become routine, engage in adventurous sex: try doing it in different places or use paraphernalia. You can also try seeking professional help from a marriage counselor or sex therapist.

Remember, you have to exhaust all efforts before you throw in the towel. Sometimes beauty comes after chaos. But if you think it is really hopeless, don’t force it, baby. Move on, journey through life with grace, and one day, your greatest love will find you.

How to make him fall for you -- or 'fess up to it!

2008-12-07T07:08:00.000-08:00

Hot and cold. He’s sweet one moment, and acts like he couldn’t care less the next. He holds your hand tight one night, then fails to communicate the next morning. He can’t seem to stop texting you last week, then goes a full week with barely a hello.

In spite of his inconsistency and unresponsiveness to your subtle encouragement, you are sure he likes you, too. So how do you make him fall completely—or at least get him to admit that he already has?

These girls’ stories and several others cited in the article tell you it’s possible to get the man you want. To help you in doing so, here are a few tips shared by Cosmo from Leil Lowndes, author of “How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You”:

Make a great first impression. And that involves wearing the right clothes, according to research.

Boost his ego. Lightly tell him how great he is without sounding like you’re obsessed with him.

Don’t expect too much. You’re only gearing yourself up for disappointment if you do. Be more open to differences.

Don’t put him on the spot. Saying “I want to talk about what is going on...” will only put him off. Instead, engage in witty banter, and keep things light.

Just be yourself and enjoy the ride. Don’t get all worked up plotting how to make him fall for you. As you’ve noticed in all these tips, the key is to take things lightly. If you enjoy each other’s company, soon he’ll never want to let you go.

Were you successful in making the man you like fall for you, too? Share with us how you did it!

The not so romantic facts about love

2008-12-07T06:51:00.000-08:00

When we talk about relationships, we associate it with romance, making love, and friendship. But you must also know that the least romantic aspects of a relationship have the most to teach about yourself, your partner, and love in general.

Here are some realities.

You’ll work harder than you ever imagined. Relationships come with major responsibilities. They grow and evolve; thus, everyday is a learning experience. Learning is sometimes painful, but it will make you stronger. Relationships are not always a bed of roses. Don’t easily give up; efforts give endless rewards.

You will sometimes go to bed angry (and wake up angrier). There are some fights that stubbornly refuse to abate by bedtime—which is not an absolute deadline for fights. When you are still mad, you can sleep on it because you need to calm down. Maybe the next morning, you have gained a new perspective. It is also possible that the next morning, you will still be upset and reignite the fight. This can work positively, as it exhausts all the negative feelings; whereas you may kiss and make up before sleeping but repress wounded feelings.

There are sexless periods. This is normal especially when sleep becomes more important than sex. It is not an absolute sign that something is wrong; it’s just that sometimes, mojo is dormant. However, if the sexless period lasts more than a month, you might want talk to your partner or try sexual adventures.

Compromise is better than “I am right.” People tend to feel good when they know that they are right. Yet arguments are prolonged because each party claims she or he is right. This should not be the case because the more you insist you are right, the more discontented your partner will be. So instead of disagreements, why not have more patience and learn the value of compromise?

Conflict means we are trying to get it right. Fighting occasionally is healthy. It is as important as compromise. During fights, couples not only raise their points but also bring unresolved issues to the surface. When two people engage in a fight, it means they are affected. When the urge to fight withers, the relationship is doomed: remember, the opposite of love is not hate or anger but indifference.

You can change only yourself. You’ll just get exhausted if you keep nagging your partner to change his habits or mindset. Trying to change a fully molded person is impossible. The easier task will be to change the way you respond to your partner. Learn how to respect the person he or she is. You must love that person not only for what he is, but also for what he is not.

Is there such thing as forever? This question is commonly asked, but the meaning and impact will only be felt when problems kick in. Yes, your love can last forever. But it is entirely up to you if you will put up with your partner or give up the fight.

Decoding male body language: signs he likes you

2008-12-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

Have you ever met a guy at a party and felt that he may like you—but you’re just not that sure?
Wonder no more. You can actually pick up signs that he likes you simply by observing his body language. After all, whatever he can’t say out loud is bound to come out in his actions.In this month’s issue of Cosmopolitan Philippines, body-language expert Janine Driver helped decode the actions of men and women interacting in one of the metro’s hot spots to reveal how they feel about each other. Here are five of the many tell-tale behavioral signs he likes you, according to Cosmo:

1. When he wants to get to know you deeper, he’ll touch a sensitive spot, like your upper arm. Then he may grab the opportunity to lean in to whisper something as an excuse to move closer to you.

2. You can’t take your eyes off each other—which is a sure sign there’s attraction. Next time you meet a new guy you’re interested in, let him know by maintaining eye contact. If he does the same, you know the interest is mutual.

3. By standing less than an arm’s length away from you, he’s telling you he wants to get to know you more intimately.

4. First he does something to make you notice him, and then he plays hard to get by turning away. Yet you see that his shoulders are squared and he’s standing tall, which means he actually wants you to see how manly or attractive he is.

5. He’s wide open: his open palms point or gesture in your direction, which shows sincere interest; and he plants his feet far apart to show his confidence when standing or spreads his legs when he’s sitting. This shows he may come on too strong, but this definitely spells he wants you.

Now you know what his mind would never verbalize. It’s up to you to reciprocate his interest—or subtly show him that you are not open to his advances by crossing your arms across your chest, keeping your legs together, sitting upright, or leaning back to create distance, among other ways.

Signs you are a needy girlfriend

2008-12-07T06:43:00.001-08:00

So you’ve followed all our dating advice and successfully snagged a new boyfriend. Now let’s work on helping you keep him.

Sure, you’ve finally gotten him to commit, but that doesn’t mean he has to be glued to you the entire time. Nothing turns a guy off more than a girlfriend who comes off as too needy.

A Cosmopolitan article reprinted by Yahoo! lists four ways you may be stifling your man with over-dependence.

1. You seek his approval for everything.
Sure, it builds a sense of trust and confidence when you consult him about major decisions such as leaving your job, but when you ask for his permission on even the most trivial things such as a pair of shoes you’d like to buy, that may be overdoing it.

2. You can’t have fun without him around.
Your man needs his alone time and time with the boys; don’t deprive him of it just because you’ll feel bad not spending every waking moment with him. Similarly, he’ll love it if you also make time for doing your own thing and spend time with your girlfriends.

3. You overanalyze his words and actions.
Just because he forgot to say he loves you one night doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel that way anymore. When it comes to men, it’s usually best to take things at face value; more often than not, there’s no hidden message or other meaning to the things they do or say. That’s more of our style, girls.

4. You are too clingy.
You may be used to his being near you, but don’t throw a fit the moment he stops holding your hand or wrapping his arms around you. You don’t always have to be glued to the hip everywhere you go. And wouldn’t it be more exciting to keep your hands off each other until you’re finally alone?

Boost your libido with tea

2008-12-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

Fancy a cup of “passion-filled” tea?

Tea has long been known for its numerous health benefits, but did you know there’s tea specifically made to spice up your sex life?

It's simply called “Get Passionate,” created by The Republic of Tea, the same brand that brought the world other interesting tea variants such as Get Charged, Get Gorgeous, Get Happy, and Get a Grip. This caffeine-free herbal blend gives couples that “extra sexy nudge” to spice up the relationship.

Among its exotic ingredients are organic rooibos, exotic muira puama bark, and ashwagandha root—the last two believed to “invigorate a lagging libido.” They also added Peruvian maca root, a known aphrodisiac.

Other ingredients blended into the tea are passionflower, which induces relaxation and calm, as well as passion fruit and Moroccan lemon verbena to flavor.

Next time you’re in the mood for love, don your sexiest lingerie, turn on the mood lights, and “Get Passionate” with your partner.

Don't get fat in a relationship, here's how

2008-12-06T06:19:00.000-08:00

It happens to both men and women. Upon entering couplehood, former singletons tend to pack on more pounds than usual. The common observation people make when they notice this? “Hiyang kasi sa boyfriend/girlfriend.”

There’s nothing wrong with gaining weight, really, but for those who get bothered by this, you must understand that love or being in love does not make a person fat. Random habits that couples acquire upon entering a relationship tend to build up those extra pounds.

In her iVillage article, “Does Love Add Pounds?” Michele Fagan says, “It’s inevitable. New relationships revolve around food. This focus on food makes sense: You communicate over the table, spend hours exploring fabulous qualities about each other. And all the while, you take a nibble here and a sip there.”

Fagan has the following suggestions for couples to avoid adding that extra “love weight.”

Refocus your activities.
Instead of a dine-out date, why not get more physical? Couples should engage in more active pastimes instead of sitting and dining. A bike ride or a walk down a quiet road will burn some calories, while allowing you to chat and spend quality time with each other. Other fun ways of getting physical include learning a new sport, dancing, or training together for a marathon.

Consider working out together.
Go to a fitness center and spend time there as a pair. You can both be each other’s great motivation for that extra push. You will have opportunities to chat, and the sight of each other in sexy workout clothes, exerting effort to get in tip-top shape can actually be a turn on for a more passionate “workout” when you leave the gym. Couples’ stretching is also a great way to get close. Start scheduling your dates at a gym near you.

Make wise food choices.
When a couple is dating, dining out is still a must. On occasions when you find yourself in a restaurant, make sure to asses your orders. As you scan the menu, be wary of sauces, especially when the description says “smothered in.” Focus on lean proteins and avoid having sauce-laden entrees on your table. Make dining out more intimate by sharing food with your partner. This way, you both get to indulge on your favorite treats, as you also minimize food intake.

You might have found your perfect match in each other, but that is no excuse to become complacent with fitness. No matter what you decide to do on your dates, communication is the key. Make plans that are fun and would enhance, not just your relationship, but also your lifestyle.

Infidelity-inducing behavior often taken for granted

2008-12-06T06:10:00.000-08:00

Having a healthy, loving relationship is as important as breathing; however, many still fall short of protecting theirs. No matter how many times one promises to be loyal, to remain true, the relationship will crumble if the foundation is not strong.

Indeed, there is no relationship that is “infidelity-proof,” but each of us is given a choice—to either nurture the beautiful love story or turn it into a nightmare.

Here are some relationship behaviors that can lead to unfaithfulness:

1. Avoiding important issues. When this takes place, your partner feels neglected and ignored. Loneliness slowly creeps in, making one very vulnerable. Some may not have any intention to look for someone else, but loneliness caused by neglect makes it easy for them to fall into the trap of infidelity.

2. Becoming passive about passion. Passion is often considered more real for young and new couples. The longer the relationship lasts, the more passion withers. There should be conscious effort from both parties to keep the fire burning. It happens that life’s concerns such as money, family, and compatibility interfere with passion and cause it to wane. Yet never take for granted the sensual and physical aspects of your relationship. It may be just one aspect of your relationship, but loss of it can strongly trigger infidelity in your partner.

3. Having a “friend” from the opposite sex. Vulnerability endangers one’s relationship. When this happens, the so-called “clean friendship” with a member of the opposite sex can be harmful, particularly when you start comparing your “friend” with your partner: “My friend treats me better than my partner does” or “No one has made me feel so loved, the way my best friend loves and cares for me.” Remember: Friendships should complement your relationship, not replace it.

There should be conscious effort from both parties to keep the fire burning.

4. Not letting go of negative relationship paradigms. Past experiences, whether good or bad, have an influence on our behavior toward commitment and intimacy. We have observed the successes and failures of people close to us: how they are able to stand firm despite trials, in the same way that we’ve seen infidelity and deceit among families and friends. Consciously or unconsciously, these events have a great impact on how we view and handle our own relationships.

It’s so easy to say that we value our relationship but we often forget that it takes responsibility to nurture and cultivate it. Affairs don’t happen overnight; like diseases, there are signs and symptoms before they progress. Often, we are unaware that seeds of infidelity are being planted. However, knowledge, understanding of the situation, plus love and willingness from both parties can uproot affair-prone tendencies and replace them with seeds of commitment and loyalty.

How to know if your guy will cheat on you?

2008-12-06T05:58:00.000-08:00

We’re not telling you to start becoming too paranoid and suspicious of your boyfriend’s every move. But nothing’s worse than being the last to know that he’s two-timing you. It would then help to know certain traits that shed light on his cheating potential.

Is he a natural charmer who usually gets his way? Is he often surrounded by women, especially in the workplace? These are just some of the warning signs you need to look out for, according to the Cosmopolitan article “Dating 101: Will Your Guy Cheat on You?” published in Yahoo! Go over the list below to see if you have any reason to be wary of your man’s cheating potential.

1. He grew up getting his way all the time, either because his parents spoiled him or he is able to bully or wheedle his classmates into doing things for him—or both. This makes him believe he is entitled to whatever he wants, regardless of other people’s feelings—including yours. Thus, he is not likely to think about hurting you when an opportunity to cheat presents itself.

2. He spends a lot of time in the workplace where he’s surrounded by women and earns a lot. While you might really prefer a guy who’s already made a name for himself, it does have a downside—especially if he’s surrounded by female colleagues all the time. The temptation of office romance is always present, especially if he spends long hours in the workplace. And his ability to spend does not help either: it won’t hurt his wallet to take a female colleague out, and his status might make him think he’s entitled to do so. But if he’s not secretive about his work and brings you to the office or company parties, you have very little reason to doubt him.

While there seems nothing wrong with a “social butterfly” boyfriend, your undivided attention may not be enough for him.

3. He’s a natural charmer who talks his way out of or into anything and enjoys being the center of attention and life of the party. While there seems nothing wrong with a “social butterfly” boyfriend, your undivided attention may not be enough for him; thus, he is easily distracted by other women who are drawn to him. If he acts like you’re invisible or does not like showing affection when he’s talking to other women, he’s likely to want to fool around.

4. His friends are mostly single men who can’t keep relationships and often bring him along to boys-nights-out. Your man definitely needs time for his buddies and their boys-only activities, but there’s always the tendency for single pals to influence him to enjoy the bachelor life like they do—and he might not be able to resist. But don’t tighten your hold on him; balance is key. It’s best if he brings you to hang out with his buddies sometimes; be nice enough to earn their respect so they’re less likely to encourage him to cheat on you.

Now that you know these potential philandering signs, here’s a word of caution: don’t overanalyze situations. Don’t make something out of nothing; just trust your instincts.

Top Seven Women's Sexual Fantasies

2008-12-01T04:59:00.000-08:00

So tell us, what are your sexual fantasies?

You could consider that a rhetorical question. Since we’re not expecting you to share it with us (of course, most of us would want to keep these things private), we’ll just tell you the most common sexual fantasies women have.

Not only will this help you realize you’re not a freak (thinking you’re the only one having those fantasies), the best part is how you can share this with your man—let this article do the talking for you, if you’re still a bit abashed by telling him the new kinky things you’d want him to do.

Our Love/Lust columnist, Dr. Majoe Juan Badiola, recently discussed one of the most common female sexual fantasies: that of coercion or being forced by a man into the act. In FHM’s September 2008 issue, Sex Guru Asia Agcaoili lists the top seven fantasies women have. Here they are in brief:

1. Being watched. One of the best female fantasies actually involves being fantasized about. There just may be a bit of a show girl in every woman.

2. Having multiple partners. Some women will never admit to wanting this, but according to Asia, this crosses women’s minds more often than a lot of women would admit. But it rarely involves having another girl as the third person.

3. Sex with a stranger. More commonly known as one night stand, it involves getting down and dirty with a hot stranger she just met at a bar—then completely forgetting about it.

4. Getting it on with a co-worker…in the office. The risk involved in having sex in the workplace makes the act so desirable but also something women would rather leave to their imagination.

5. Being sexually involved with a man in a relationship. This stems from love of the challenge and being made to feel more beautiful, says Asia.

6. Tying someone else up or being tied up. The power struggle involved in sadism and masochism seems to strongly arouse passion in a lot of women (and men).

7. Videotaping the act. Do you secretly dream of being a porn star in your own little world? Asia believes this is what drives this sexual fantasy, apart from the more practical reason of being able to watch your performance after passionate sex. It’s risky, however, given all the sex scandals we know too well.

@ a friend's Wedding Day

2008-11-29T22:45:00.000-08:00

Oct 19, 2008, a special day for a friend of my boyfriend. This is the day that they will give their promise to God. A promise to love each other, for better or for worse. On this day, two hearts will be one. I'm praying that my day will come soon. That day i get to walk down the aisle, while i look into my beau's eyes, very happy and contented. But for now, I could only be a part of a wedding day. Be a witness at what love can do to two strange souls..

Me and My Beau, Erwin

Erwin and his friend Marlon, the Groom

Erwin, walking down the aisle, as the Best Man.. soon to be, My Groom

A cute girl, KC..

Wacky Officemates

2008-08-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

Alcohol's Effect .. uhmm and guys, cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health..

Who's really taking pics?

"Me, myself and I.."

"Fantastic Four!"

me and my beau

2008-08-30T05:52:00.001-07:00

my beau..

My Erwin.. My God given gift. I have been praying for someone who would fill up the emptiness in me. I've been waiting for my Mr. Right. I never thought that he exist. I was proven wrong, Erwin exists.

@ Mall of Asia Bay Area

2008-08-30T04:45:00.000-07:00

My Officemates

This photo was taken last night when we had our dinner at Shylin Resto at The Mall of Asia bay area. It would have been more fun if all of my officemates were present. Cant wait for the next gathering..

Our Company's Asset

My office gals..

Hey guys... Smile!

It was a fun Friday Night Out. I'm sure everyone had satisfied appetites. Until our next gathering.. I better have a full battery phone by then for me to capture every moment worth posting.