Love myths debunked
A lot of us grew up being exposed to fairy tales—all of which ended with the overused “And they lived happily ever after” that all of us, at one point or another, secretly long for. Somehow, these seemingly harmless tales have affected our perceptions of love and our Prince Charming (or in grown up lingo, “Mr. Right”) that we can’t wait to find. As grownups, all these cheesy Hollywood romantic comedies aren’t helping us either.
Reality check: what we don’t know is how these myths can actually ruin our chances of finding the partner who’s right for us. Living by these myths, whether consciously or unconsciously, could actually lead to a lot of disillusionment and disappointment. So we gathered common love myths you should let go of so you can hopefully bring a better and more successful outlook to your love life.
Someday my Prince will come to rescue me from this life and fulfill all my needs. Are you waiting for a man who will come to make your life better? According to dating website eHarmony.com, you’ll probably wait forever, then. You mustn’t peg your happiness or the improvement of your life on anyone else but yourself. No man can make you happier, richer, or more successful. Besides, who in his right mind would want to take that burden upon himself? You’ll only become dependent on your partner. So scrap the idea that you’ll one day mutter the Jerry Maguire line “You complete me” to someone. Resolve your issues and be confident about yourself. The right partner will fulfill your needs but never all of them.
Love at first sight. What you will usually experience at first sight is just infatuation. It takes a lot of time and effort from both parties to get to know each other and eventually find true love.
My soulmate or “The One” is out there. If you're still looking for The One, you’d only find yourself single and still searching for a very long time. Thanks to Hollywood, we have the illusion that our soulmate will just come right at us at the right moment. Are you frustrated you still haven’t found yours? The good news is there’s no such thing as The One. In your search for love, you will actually meet a lot of potential The Ones, and it’s up to you to stay open-minded, be your best self, and keep your options open before you decide who really is for you. It is possible for you to experience true love with more than one person in your lifetime. And stop thinking that your man should be perfect, too. You’ll only be limiting your options and setting yourself up for disappointment.
There is no such thing as love at first sight. It usually is just infatuation.
Love is a feeling. This isn’t the first time you’re hearing this, we’re sure. Yes, real love brings feelings of butterflies in your stomach, your heart skipping beats, and giddiness you can’t control. Yet relationship experts will always tell us that, more than anything, love is a verb. It’s all about doing and putting in a lot of effort to make the relationship work.
“If you love me, you’ll change (among other demands).” And believing that he will actually change. You make love conditional upon your man, asking him to constantly prove his love for you by doing what you demand. Apart from showing lack of trust, you’re also setting yourself up for disappointment. Even Marie Claire Editor-in-Chief Myrza Sison, in her MyFN Chat held last July, said that you mustn’t change a guy since “the only one who will benefit is his next girlfriend.” If you get into a relationship ignoring all the red flags just because you think you can change a man once you’re together, it’s unlikely you’ll ever succeed. People change because they want to and rarely when you ask or pressure them to.
And they lived happily ever after. Real love and relationships require a lot of effort, and they often involve a lot of disappointments, arguments, challenges, and even tragedies. You actually need all these to make the relationship stronger. It’s never smooth-sailing and picture-perfect after your first kiss, but isn’t that what makes relationships exciting and colorful? You constantly need to work it out and communicate.
True love conquers all. Love is not enough to make a relationship work. It needs compatibility, commitment, communication, and a lot of effort, as mentioned above.
Reality check: what we don’t know is how these myths can actually ruin our chances of finding the partner who’s right for us. Living by these myths, whether consciously or unconsciously, could actually lead to a lot of disillusionment and disappointment. So we gathered common love myths you should let go of so you can hopefully bring a better and more successful outlook to your love life.
Someday my Prince will come to rescue me from this life and fulfill all my needs. Are you waiting for a man who will come to make your life better? According to dating website eHarmony.com, you’ll probably wait forever, then. You mustn’t peg your happiness or the improvement of your life on anyone else but yourself. No man can make you happier, richer, or more successful. Besides, who in his right mind would want to take that burden upon himself? You’ll only become dependent on your partner. So scrap the idea that you’ll one day mutter the Jerry Maguire line “You complete me” to someone. Resolve your issues and be confident about yourself. The right partner will fulfill your needs but never all of them.
Love at first sight. What you will usually experience at first sight is just infatuation. It takes a lot of time and effort from both parties to get to know each other and eventually find true love.
My soulmate or “The One” is out there. If you're still looking for The One, you’d only find yourself single and still searching for a very long time. Thanks to Hollywood, we have the illusion that our soulmate will just come right at us at the right moment. Are you frustrated you still haven’t found yours? The good news is there’s no such thing as The One. In your search for love, you will actually meet a lot of potential The Ones, and it’s up to you to stay open-minded, be your best self, and keep your options open before you decide who really is for you. It is possible for you to experience true love with more than one person in your lifetime. And stop thinking that your man should be perfect, too. You’ll only be limiting your options and setting yourself up for disappointment.
There is no such thing as love at first sight. It usually is just infatuation.
Love is a feeling. This isn’t the first time you’re hearing this, we’re sure. Yes, real love brings feelings of butterflies in your stomach, your heart skipping beats, and giddiness you can’t control. Yet relationship experts will always tell us that, more than anything, love is a verb. It’s all about doing and putting in a lot of effort to make the relationship work.
“If you love me, you’ll change (among other demands).” And believing that he will actually change. You make love conditional upon your man, asking him to constantly prove his love for you by doing what you demand. Apart from showing lack of trust, you’re also setting yourself up for disappointment. Even Marie Claire Editor-in-Chief Myrza Sison, in her MyFN Chat held last July, said that you mustn’t change a guy since “the only one who will benefit is his next girlfriend.” If you get into a relationship ignoring all the red flags just because you think you can change a man once you’re together, it’s unlikely you’ll ever succeed. People change because they want to and rarely when you ask or pressure them to.
And they lived happily ever after. Real love and relationships require a lot of effort, and they often involve a lot of disappointments, arguments, challenges, and even tragedies. You actually need all these to make the relationship stronger. It’s never smooth-sailing and picture-perfect after your first kiss, but isn’t that what makes relationships exciting and colorful? You constantly need to work it out and communicate.
True love conquers all. Love is not enough to make a relationship work. It needs compatibility, commitment, communication, and a lot of effort, as mentioned above.
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